i hate all this travelling. i wish i could have a week to myself.

So-so-so. Solidarity!

it was fun being at the picket lines. went with two other undergrads, sadia and jacob, to the rexall picket. and went to the noon rally at the front gate. we had speakers from uoft and ryerson's student union and respective cupe chapters. we were advised not to attend the anti-strike rally, but saw them in passing by. there was about a hundred people. apparently their primary speaker was a conservative mp from richmond hill or something. someone said the admin were drinking coffee and attending the event whilst one of the concerns by them is that the yfs isn't being neutral. i went to pick up one of their petition letters to mcguinty about forcing cupe back to work (like ttc, which is funny because cupe is not an essential service and i doubt he will do that, nor should they) and one of the people behind the table told me they wanted signs without sticks. and i looked at them funny because they thought i was here to support them while clearly the sign i was carrying said "undergrads <3 cupe" and "living wages".

i also met a classmate that was in support of arbitration and against the strike and cupe. he said something like 80% of grad students in the science faculty didn't support it. i don't find that surprising as i don't find many science students involve or aware of social struggles in the first place and would totally not see the bigger picture that the gains/losses of cupe would have on other labour struggles and quality of education.

i also met ali, from saia and campus riot and he said he helped start the yu free press. i was thinking of submitting something in but had no idea to start on. i think i'll try to go on wednesday or thursday to the picket lines where the science t.a.s are and do some interviews. maybe i can find some material to write from that. i want to know their
- name, faculty, major
- what their working hours were like, how they live and manage school and t.a.ship
- if they voted for or against the strike
- what their stance is on the strike now, has it changed
- how many of their colleagues were for or against it
- if there was a predominant feeling against it, why is that so, did they think it had something to do with being a science academic
- if they had engage in other forms of social protest/demos before
- if they are involve in other community organizations
- how important being involved in social, political, and local community is to them and their development
- what message or advice they would like to give to their students and undergrad community

are there any other things do you think i should inquire about? i will probably bring my laptop as it would be easier to record their answers than writing it down. i'm slightly excited to see what they have to say.

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i went to go see my mom on yesterday. i really missed her. god that woman can cook. i swear, after i ate her home cooking, it made my eating habits for the past months feel like i've been on a mcdonald's diet, even though i've only been there like twice. she always loved cooking for the family, i think she feels that's the one thing she's good at and can do for us. i wish she could've worked the past few years, got into better shape, and hung out with friends. but she didn't partly because of my dad and partly because of herself.

i think i appreciate her a lot more now than when i lived with my dad. he was always demeaning her and getting into arguments. on the flip side, i do recognize my mom has some issues as depression, not listening to rational, and not taking initiative. i hope in ten years or so i can give her the choice to live with me if she wants. but for that to happen i have to finish at least my undergrad and have a stable job. sometimes i think about how my mom's life turned out, i feel really sad. she deserved better.

i guess my dad does too. he did bring the family to canada and participate in an important political struggle against the dictatorship. he had to leave his parents at the age of 8 to live with his mother's uncle. got bullied by the uncle and the uncle's family and lived almost like a servant just so he can get a better education. he tried to kill himself by drinking gasoline at like the age of 10 and got really sick. it took him six years to pass his final year, because he didn't know what to do with his life. he supported himself through highschool and university on his own. went to school during the day and work as a clerk at night until he got a stipend. when he married, my mom's side of the family didn't approve of him. he had to work for a year away from the family on a ship as a marine engineer. he trusted a family friend that kept my brother and sister in the country when he tried to leave. he was in jail for a few months in thailand after i was born. he never got to pursue a career in automotive engineering. he worked as a janitor here. he's always worked 12-hour day and night shifts work that makes his sleep irregular. finally, his side of the family got hit hard by the recent tsunami.

my sister and i both left home because of him, but he sees that as a betrayal of what he did for us. even though i feel sorry for him, i don't feel that any of that was my responsibility. he still had a level of independence and ownership of his life that he never gave to me and my sister. he gave some independence and trust to my brother because he was a male. he abhorrs the authoritarian nature of the military but he himself is authoritative to his family members. anyways, i'm not too worried about taking care of him, even though he thinks its all children's duty to look after their parents. i think my dad's pension and my brother can handle that. my mom unfortunately never worked long in canada so has no pension and i don't feel she can completely trust my dad to provide for her in her old age. i don't think my dad will cut her completely, but he is already threatening doing that because she wanted to go help my sister by babysitting. i hope i can offer her that choice and possibly make the last decades of her life content.

*************************************************
Plans for the week

Tuesday:
- gym
- study
- babysitting sammie in the afternoon

Wednesday:
- (?)meet up with ahmad to get my textbook back
- go interview at picket lines

Thursday:
- gym
- study

Friday:
- study
- burlesque show in the evening

Saturday:
- modeling 3:30 to 8pm
- (?)newmindspace event: night lights, higher than the cn tower

I want to be regular...

i've been feeling so lethargic lately. i really need to catch up on school. there's a house party right now but i don't feel like going because i've already hanged out with the same people last friday and i feel i've used up all my conversation material then, and bitching about your prof and workload gets really old fast.

just back from the first free-say meeting on campus that i've been able to go to since i usually work monday evenings. it was mostly a discussion on the strike, fairness or unfairness of it, and the differences of grad student to undergrad. carmen was also there and we chatted about her birthday plans for this weekend. i got a call from miss behaving and they someone cancel for this saturday. i wasn't planning on working this saturday because i was gonna go see my mom in hamilton, but because i have no job at the moment, i needed the employment. so hopefully i can see my mom on sunday instead. so i guess i'm going to join carmen at the bovine sex club on friday evening and her b-day house party saturday evening. it should be fun: dance, make new friends, etcetera, etcetera.

this morning, i joined the undergrad support cupe event. it was fun chanting and checking out the different strike lines and seeing some familiar faces from riot. but demo-ing still feels crappy when i go by myself, inspite of all the other people there. haven't really liked it since i went to the last large anti-war one with dave. i think it was a good call to not go on wednesday, but now i can't really write think of anything to write for the new free press paper.

(i don't know why i have two boxes of empty liquer bottles. well i know they're ted's but i'm not sure of how he aquired them.)

i guess i can make a schedule for this week, but i still don't feel like following any plan. i'm REALLY not looking forward to looking for another job which will most likely be crappy. i wish osap would come through already.

Monday (evening onwards)
- laundry
- clean room
- clean desk*
- practice chemistry quiz (lets ease back into study mode)

Tuesday
- math, math, math
- call sister at 4:30pm, meet her at spadina around 5:30(?)
- babysit


Wednesday
- grocery shopping
- EM studying
- Public Viewing

Thursday
-

Friday
- meet up with carmen for bovine sex clubbing (10-12)

Saturday
- miss behavin 10:30 to 3:30
- carmen's birthday party

Sunday
- visit mom in hamilton
- meet up with tim in the evening(?)


Other things that could get done but don't know when to do them:
- try to get into chem 1001
- try to get into genetics for next term
- apply for summer research
- contact lianne about data reduction
- look for a job for during the strike
- get osap funding
- organize bedroom
- get contacts
- finish lab
- do mastering chemistry
- finish em assignment
- exam studynotes for all courses (esp relativity)
- extra problems in relativity
- extra problems in series
- extra problems in integration
- do the gists for biophys

So yeah and I butchered interpol's song "slow hands" at karaoke and i don't want to listen to them for a while, lol.

No Bama?

I know it's kind of an awful thing to suggest, but I'm actually kind of hoping that Obama will lose. This may actually awaken the american public to realizing how many loopholes and fraudulent practices are in their democratic and voting system. Should this upset happen, although not enough to trigger anything truly revolutionary, it could get a lot of people upset enough to mobilize themselves to become active in their political system and maybe realize/open to realization of some uncomfortable truths.

Such as voter fraud: http://www.democracynow.org/2008/11/3/on_eve_of_election_day_is

Not only that, but the awful propaganda and corporate media that voters base their decision on. For example, Christians voting for Republicans to uphold prolife(antichoice) and homophobic views. Yesterday I hear a Florida resident interviewed by cbc radio to suggest he wasn't going to vote for Obama because his name sounded like a Muslim. Because his name sounds muslim. As if there, being a Muslim means you aren't American. As if he were a Muslim he couldn't represent America. We all know about how hard Fox news and McCain try to tie him to terrorism. We all know how successful public relations was at tying Sadam Hussein to Bin Laden in the past and justifying a war that's still continuing. So I won't be surprised if media/PR magic came through again for a McCain win, one I would also see as fradulent by means of subjecting the american public day-in-and-day-out to misinformation and god-awful reporting.

Although I find Obama actuallying addressing issues and have characteristics of what we think an ideal politician should have, i find his speeches have only seem like very well put rhetoric to me. The true test of how he will represent the citizens of america can only be seen in time. I also do not agree on some of his foreign policies in particular partaining to Cuba, Afghanistan, and Israel. I strongly hope that if he is voted in, the american public will be vigilant that he upholds to the promise of change and not again be sidetracked by the entertainment/pagentry.

At the end of the day, I really don't want McCain-Palin in office. But if they somehow magically do, GET YOUR ASS OFF THE COUCH AND DO SOMETHING TO CORRECT IT.


Oh and come out to Queenspark tomorrow to protest post-secondary tuition fee hikes.

exit the grey

i can't lie that going to subspace wasn't rather disappointing. didn't have anyone to dance with, didn't see ted and kerry. i spent time, money, and energy getting the outfit, haircut, spending my miss behav'n gift certificate on toys i didn't even use. whoever said money can buy you happiness was obviously not talking about me. because that was rather the most depressing time i've had in a long while. but i guess i should be grateful that it doesn't really compare to missing my highschool graduation, that was disappointment.

watching secretary with zaheen and alexz was the highlight of the evening, which was a really good movie. i really should have left it there.

anyways, i have just over twenty dollars in my checking account. and about $800 in credit card debt, not to mention tuition. on monday i am picking up my osap loan. i don't know how long it will take for them to deposit that in my bank. so here's to not starving from now til then. though at least i get paid this coming friday. so here's to not starving from now til friday.

Week Planning (god I have so much to get done):

Sunday:
- get fucked
- try to recover and do some work
- go up to Alexzander's

Monday:
- appointment with student financial services at 9:20am (so should get back on campus by 9am)
- mastering chem
- work from 3pm to close

Tuesday:
- biophysics guest lecturer (something that can't let me down, sweet)
- go to bethune for 2040 help
- baby sitting sammie, call sister after last chem at 4pm

Wednesday:
- maybe call miss behavn to cancel if still hacking
- 2040 Assignment #7
- 2020 Problem set 5


Thursday:
- 1000 quiz on qm

Friday:
- math test
- lab #3 due
- work 6 to close